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A Rose for Sharon

  For many years now, I have posted the single pink rose image to my social media on August 19th and June 4th. Those who know me well know it is in honor of my little sister, Sharon, who died in 1994. Her birth date and her death date. That has been the extent of my communication about my sister or her life since. Thirty-two years is a long time to hold onto words. I have considered writing about her. It doesn't matter how deep my feelings are for her or how much I cherish her memory, the words don't come easily, if at all. Words feel cheap and wrong. It's hard to even describe why. Maybe it is because she was our family's: Our sister, our cousin, our niece, our daughter. We knew her best, so no one else should have the right to know about her like we did. Maybe that's why I hold onto my words. But I realize that if I don't tell her story, who will?  I have spent hour upon hour researching my long-gone ancestors, yet I haven't written about my own sister. I ...
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"Dear Besey"


52 Ancestors, Week 3, "Nickname"

As a kid, I never much thought about a nickname I heard many a time as I grew up: Besey. This was the nickname my paternal Irish grandfather, Joseph John Gilbride (1910-1990) called my mother Anna Margaret Kozlina (1937-2010). He pronounced it "Beezy."

As an adult I pondered where this nickname came from. It was not a diminutive of Mom's name. I couldn't tell if it was a made-up name Grandpa gave her, perhaps some private in-joke between them.

A few years ago, I happened upon a book about Irish name variations that finally gave me a clue as to what it might have stood for. It seems that "Beesy," along with "Bedelia" and "Delia" are used interchangeably for the name "Bridget."1

But this was only half the story. Again, why would Grandpa use Besey [sic]—an Irish nickname for an Irish name—for my mother Anna Margaret? She was neither a Bridget nor Irish. In fact, she was Slovak and Croatian!

The name Bridget, and its diminutive Biddy, were names often given to women who came to the U.S. and worked as domestic servants after the Irish Famine—even if it wasn't their given name. So, the name Bridget became synonymous with an Irish woman. Though there were definitely negative associations with the Irish domestic servants of the time as lazy, loud, and uncouth, I'm sure that Grandpa did not mean to give Mom those attributes.2

Mom and Grandpa were very close, even after my parents divorced. Mom would take us kids to see Grandpa, and we'd have him over for dinner on special occasions. He would send her little notes with things he thought would help her out, such as a calendar, photos, etc. He even gifted her with a yard planter made from an old tire, a little hobby he started after retirement. He was a sweet and lovely man whom we dearly loved.

I think that Grandpa "Irish-cized" Mom and gave her this pet name of Besey as a sign of his acceptance of her as "one of the clan" in spite of her Eastern European roots. And for that, Besey will always be my favorite family nickname.

P.S. A cousin reminded me today (and I also remembered last night), that my Mom's pet name for Grandpa was "Curly." As you can see, he didn't have much hair, let alone curly hair...!


 

 

 

 

Until next time...

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© Nancy Gilbride Casey, 2025. All rights reserved.


NOTES

1 Robert E. Matheson, Varieties and Synonymes of Surnames and Christian Names in Ireland for the Guidance of Registration Officials and The Public In Searching the Indexes of Births, Deaths, and Marriages (Dublin: Alex. Thom & Co. (Limited), 1901), p. 28; digital image, Internet Archive (https://archive.org/details/varietiessynonym00math/page/n6/mode/1up?view=theater : accessed 14 January 2025), citing Allen County Public Library Genealogy Center, Fort Wayne, Indiana.

2 Melanie Beth Curran, "From Saint to Stereotype: A Story of Brigid," JSTOR Daily, 27 March 2024 (https://daily.jstor.org/from-saint-to-stereotype-a-story-of-brigid/ : accessed 14 January 2025).

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  1. Diane HenriksJanuary 15, 2025 at 10:43 AM

    What a fun blog and interesting nickname for her. You have a good point on why she may have been called that; it's possible. It's also very possible that her nickname was for noble or exalted (strength, power, force), the meaning behind the Irish name Brighid, with Beesy beeing one of the nicknames for it. :)

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    1. Nancy Gilbride CaseyJanuary 15, 2025 at 11:23 AM

      I love that idea as well. I knew the meaning, but I wonder if my Grandpa would have been aware of that. It fits, as she was raising 4 kids on her own and he respected her a great deal.

      My surname is also very tied up with St. Brigid. It means "devotee of St. Brigid." Sometimes spelled Kilbride (Gs and Ks were often interchangeable in Irish surnames). In fact, the ship manifest where they appear at immigration it is spelled Kilbride, but eventually it was just spelled Gilbride.

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  2. Janice M. SellersJanuary 16, 2025 at 1:26 PM

    What an interesting amount of research into a nickname! That isn't always easy to do. Maybe your theory is right, and even if it isn't, it's clear that your mother and grandfather were close.

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    1. Nancy Gilbride CaseyJanuary 16, 2025 at 4:37 PM

      I think I'm fortunate that it was an Irish name, and there were resources out there to find. Yes, they were close, and I'm very glad of that. It was lovely to witness. Thanks for reading.

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  3. Marian B. WoodJanuary 16, 2025 at 1:45 PM

    Besey and Curly. Fun nicknames, interesting how you worked out the Besey connection!

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    1. Nancy Gilbride CaseyJanuary 16, 2025 at 4:38 PM

      Yes, I really love those nicknames. I never had one really, so it was fun to witness that between them. Thanks for reading!

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