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The Thumb's Christmas

  Our daughter, Anne, was a prolific artist when she was young. Our refrigerator door was full of her drawings, paintings, and school artwork. She liked to create little books, too, as she was also a natural storyteller. One Christmas when she was about eight years old, Anne wrote and illustrated a Christmas story for her little brother, James. If memory serves, she drew her inspiration from a book she had recently gotten from the library by illustrator Ed Emberley. He wrote and illustrated The Great Thumbprint Drawing Book . In it, Emberley showed how to make a variety of animals and people using a thumbprint as a starting point. The creations are simple and charming. It's amazing what you can do with a blog of ink and a few black lines. It's art that's accessible to anyone. Anne's story is called "The Thumb's Christmas," and is based on our family. There is a thumb with glasses (Anne), a thumb with little hair (toddler James), a thumb with a mustache (Ji...
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Remembering Dessie

 

Collinsville (Oklahoma) High School portrait.

Seven years ago, on November 28th, we lost Dessie Evans Casey Cleberg—aka Jim's Mom, my mother-in-law, and the kids' Granny. 

Though she has been gone for a little while now, my memories of her are still very strong. She did that. Left an impression.

Several years before she died I had begun researching our Casey and Gilbride family tree. That included both my family and Jim's lines - his Casey paternal side and his Evans maternal side. I often asked Dessie questions about her family and she answered them to the best of her recollection. 

There were some blind spots. She never knew her father, and she did not have a large, extended family. Her knowledge was mostly about her mother Mary Ollie Stephen Evans Payne (1918-1982), her maternal grandparents William Roy Stephen (1886-1971) and Dessie Stallings Stephen (1890-1966), and her only sibling, brother James Dixon Evans (1938-2020). 

I only met James once, just before Dessie died in 2016. He was a lovely man, and he shared this wonderful photo of the two of them that he carried in his wallet. That was a testament to their bond.

Dessie Evans and brother James Evans. (Photo repaired and enhanced with MyHeritage photo tools.)

Dessie was always interested when I found something cool about her family to share. Like the photo supposedly depicting her second great-grandparents standing next to a fence and two cows. She had a typical dryly humorous remark about that...I wish I could find that email so I could quote her.

And she had some funny stories to tell. Like how she was so small when she was born that her mother put her in a shoe box under the stove to keep her warm. And how her mother changed her birth date so that she and James could go to school together. So, yes, we now have her two birth certificates—one the "unnamed" Evans baby girl born on 6 March 1940, and the other, a delayed certificate with a 10 October 1939 birth date. (The 1940 one is correct, by the way. She's listed in her grandfather's household at age "0/12" months in April 1940.)

Dessie was nonchalant when she told these tales. It was just who she was. No nonsense.

A few days after Dessie died, I remembered her on Facebook:

"A great soul left us last night, my Mother-in-Law Dessie Cleberg. Dessie fought the fight as long as she could, and left her life on her terms. She was a force to be reckoned with, and leaves behind many beloved family and friends.
 
I will always remember Dessie as a formidable woman who lived life to the fullest, and found a will to do whatever she wanted, from hiking the Grand Canyon, to sailing the Mississippi with her husband Bob, flying an airplane, to moving into a new house just weeks ago (and yes, she was unpacked and the house decorated beautifully, as usual!). She was smart, classy, funny, generous, and a friend to all. She gave me her wonderful son, Jim, who inherited many of her traits, including her sense of adventure and tenacity.

To our kids Anne and James, her only grandchildren, she chose to be known as "Granny." We shared trips and camping together over the years, and though the distance kept us apart some, she always took delight in their accomplishments, as evidenced, for example, by all her friends who upon meeting Anne this week, greeted her with "Oh, you're the college graduate!" She always made a point of saying the kids were "neat," and given that she never used hyperbole, you know that was high praise.
 
Gratefully, she was the least meddlesome mother-in-law created, by her own design. We joked that the geographic distance made that easier, but she also made a point this week to tell me she was the only one amongst her friends who actually liked their daughter-in-law! Her compliments were usually round about, but you got the point.
 
She also brought Bob Cleberg into our lives, who served as the kids' 3rd grandpa, or StepBob as James dubbed him (the names Papa and Grandpa already being taken). Together they shared adventures and misadventures for 20 years, and we're forever grateful to have him as family due to her good taste! 
 
We're grateful to the Mayo Clinic, where she got the care she needed to live not just a couple of months as originally predicted, but a year and a half. To Dr. Nelson, the nurses, and the staff this week, thank you for getting her to a point where she could get home, and to Lynn, Beth, Peggy, Connie, Sharon, Charlotte, Cliff, and others too numerous to mention, thank you for helping her and Bob over these months. It has been a great comfort to Jim knowing she was so well looked out for when he could not be there.
 
Thank you Mom, Dessie & Granny for all you've brought to our lives. You will be missed, and you have our love forever."
 
Here are some photos of Dessie through the years. She was a beauty, inside and out. 
 

After winning Miss Collinsville, about 1956.

Portrait from her wedding to James Casey, Sr., June, 1958.

With husband James Casey, Sr., newborn son James, and daughter Cindy, 1963.

With second husband Bob Cleberg and dog Maggie.
 
Thinking of you today, Dessie.

Until next time....
 
 
 

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