What I Learned from My Mom

 

Last Monday, October 27th, would have been my mom's 88th birthday, and I'm thinking about her this week. I can hardly believe that she's been gone since 2010...15 years already. I've written about her a lot, but even with all I've done, I fear there is so much I've forgotten already, memories I will never be able to claw back into my consciousness.

I'm glad, then, to have the gift of the questions that I'm working on from the book, Questions You'll Wish You'd Asked, which our son gave to me a few years ago. I'm slowly making my way through the book and some of the questions are about my parents and siblings. I keep my answers in a private blog for our son called Mamoushka's Memories (Mamoushka is our son's pet name for me...which I love!).

One question I recently wrote an answer to was, "What Did You Learn from Your Own Mother?" In honor of my beloved mother, Anna Margaret Kozlina Gilbride, here's my answer, addressed to our son.

 

"I learned so much from Mom! She taught me everything about being a mom, though I probably didn't realize it at the time.

I learned how to cook from Mom. It was really a practical thing. Often I learned kitchen tasks because she needed help making meals or baking. It was nice to hang out in the kitchen with her and it was a way to spend time together. There wasn't a lot of time to "hang out" when we were growing up, with all of us kids in school and her at work. So time together often was when we were engaged in a task together.

Mom also taught me how to do laundry, iron clothes, and how to sew and mend things. This was also practical, because we didn't just run out and buy new clothes all the time. If a button fell off a shirt or a pair of pants needed shortening (especially for shorty me!), this is something we just did ourselves. There was always a ton of ironing to be done, because Mom didn't like wrinkly clothes and she rarely put cotton shirts or blouses in the dryer because she didn't want them to shrink. So they were always wrinkly. 

I learned how to clean from Mom as well. We had a regular cleaning schedule at home, and it was Thursdays if I remember right. That's when we had to dust and vacuum our rooms. I later learned how to clean the bathrooms and kitchen and scrub floors. As I got older, I would do a lot of house cleaning for Mom, just to help her out as she got older. (And Mom was a down-on-your-knees floor scrubber and she taught me that. I never really think a floor is clean unless it's done this way, though the Swiffer sure is nice...).

Mom also loved to decorate cakes, and her cakes were requested for many years by relatives and friends for special occasions like birthdays, baby showers, or wedding showers. They were always beautiful! And she liked to bake, especially for Christmas, when we would have lots of relatives over for celebrations. She probably made 8-10 different kinds of cookies every year. If we had a bigger family I would probably make all of them too, but since we don't, her butter cookies are the tradition I carry on that I learned from her.

Through example, Mom also taught me to be interested in others and to be caring. She never forgot someone's birthday or anniversary. Special dates were always on a calendar in the kitchen, and she took great care to find the perfect card for every occasion. Dozens of people got Christmas cards from Mom each year too. I'm sure you remember how much time she took to make sure that you and Anne always got beautifully-wrapped Christmas and birthday gifts—and gifts for other occasions as well like Easter, Halloween, and other times. She loved to spoil you two, that's for sure!

Mom with her little sister, my Aunt Marian.

Mom always looked out for those who were alone and made a point to invited them to family get-togethers After my grandmother died, she'd frequently have Grandpa Gilbride over for Sunday dinner, sometimes sending me to fetch him, since he did not drive.

Mom with her brother Bobby when he was little. She was nearly 18 when he was born and loved to take care of him.

Riding trikes with her little brother, my Uncle Tommy.

I definitely learned about staying in touch from Mom, and that's why you and Anne get cards from me. The first time I ever went away from home to band camp, when I was in the North High School flag corps, she wrote me a letter every day for a whole week. When I moved to New York, she sent me cards often. That always meant the world to me, and I loved to check my mail every day to see if she or someone else remembered to write to me. I treasured knowing that she thought about me when I didn't even know it, but I got the proof in the mail. I like to carry that on as well.

I could go on. I always credit Mom with teaching me pretty much everything. But I guess the best thing I learned from her was how to be a woman who could get things done—she was very proud of making a home for us and of our family life after she and my dad divorced. I think she liked proving that she could do the job of two parents. It wasn't always perfect, but it worked. And I will always admire her for that."

 

Happy Birthday, Mom! Love you forever.

 

If you have a special memory of Mom, I hope you'll leave a comment and share them with me.

 

 

Until next time... 

© Nancy Gilbride Casey, 2025. All rights reserved.